Here I go again

Just to warn you, I am not going to say this in detail. 

Two days ago, I messaged a friend (Irene) in facebook telling her that I am screwed over something I’m feeling of recently which I am through with few years ago. I told her that I’ve been such a dumb to let everything happened again for no reason at all. I told her that I am confused with what to do and with I’m going through right now. Well, she was actually nice when she made an advice, kinda cruel but friendly at the same time. If it was loida, I could have hear her telling me all the hurtful stuffs that would make me realize how stupid I am and it helps, that’s why I love her so much. Anyways, I have this over and over again and yet I do not learn every single thing of it. I wanted to stay away from it but every time I try to, it always comes near me and I’m always teased about this one. Every single thought about it makes me puke and the only solution is to stop. She(Irene) told me to inquire why it happened or it didn’t mean anything at all. To never be a coward and just ask because it’s not fun at all but I have no guts. I was never a quitter, I was always a goer with everything I do but now, I guess I have to stop and move on or i might need to move on because i'm afraid that I might be destroyed if I don't.

There were things I wanted to ask but I just can’t and I try to let it be. The same story is happening now that happened to me 4 years ago and I even recall it once in a blue moon. Every bit of it was not enjoyable at all. I realize my life is not chaotic, it’s all that is attached to it that burns me. Moving on was a great option and I had to take its word for it. It’s like there is sweetness in doing nothing. Everytime I see that person’s face, I hear dolphins clapping.hahah! It’s a nerving to know a complete stranger yet you are falling. Irene said, to let it all go and just be happy. Maybe, I’m too charming to be fun of.nyahahah!!!

Well, seriously, I don’t know if there’s a cure for this but if there is, can you give me one? I’m dying to let it go but it is too hard. I am just happy that I have friends who I can count on to every time and who let me see how great  life is and all that comes with itJ

Buena note.

ericderey